Brains? Not required, Put your on Rent

Delhi 2025: Senses say one thing. Media says another.

If you’re living in Delhi right now—you don’t need a brain. In fact, please put it away. It will only confuse you. Nothing around you matches anyway. What your eyes see, what your senses feel, and what your brain interprets are on one planet… while the media broadcasts from another galaxy entirely.

Once upon a time, the media raced to deliver information first. Now it walks—slowly, gracefully—distributing filtered wisdom only after it has expired.

Remember the heavy, weird rains? There were cloud-seeding debates everywhere. But when the moment finally arrived for actual cloud seeding—when people should have witnessed rain—poof! Nothing happened. At that time, even the almighty forgot to create the clouds that needed to be seeded for artificial rain.

Then came the choking and coughing season. Delhiites—aam and khaas aadmi—choked, wheezed, and sneezed in what they assumed was pollution. But the media? Silent. People waited for the media to confirm their suspicions so they could tell others, “See, I told you so.” But the media did not stress, even remotely enough, that the pollution levels were murderous and people needed to take precautions. So Delhiites walked around unmasked, coughing, never blaming pollution for their health condition.

Pollution is invisible, intangible, and—tragically—cannot be measured from the comfort of your home. Most people didn’t even notice Delhi’s sky turning five shades darker than anywhere outside the city. Only those flying into Delhi could see the color shift from “sky blue” to “apocalyptic grey” upon entering Delhi’s airspace.

Tourists don’t talk about it either. They know they’re entering a gas chamber. But hey—Delhi has malls, food, business opportunities, expos, centuries of history and culture. A little toxic air is a small entry fee.

Meanwhile, rains have pushed the groundwater so high that basements have become mini swimming pools, and ground-floor walls are sweating more than people stuck in Delhi’s summer traffic.

And then a section of Delhiites received water bills worth tens of thousands of rupees. The explanation? “Your water meters were not working for many years.” During those years, these same citizens proudly thanked the government for “free water.” But when the mega-bill finally arrived, it was far more than what sensible monthly billing would have been. And then, in the grand finale, the government forgave the bills—generously wiping out arrears that were not the fault of the consumers.

At this point, we citizens are out of logic, out of words, and out of the mental strength to question anything.

Because in today’s India, thinking is optional. Following instructions is mandatory. So please, feel free to put your brains on rent in some other country. You won’t be needing them here—not right now.