April 9, 2018 at 12:54 pm #5260
We are a family of Engineers. But my son wants to be a pilot. We do not have any pilots in our family. We want him to study Engineering or Architecture. What should we do? Should we allow him to become a pilot or force him to pursue Engineering.
April 12, 2018 at 12:16 pm #5367
In this query the parents who are Engineers want their son to become an Engineer. But the child wants to become a Pilot.
Every question is different, so the answers also should be unique. If we give a general answer the parents might get some good solution but not a holistic solution. A holistic answer depends on the background of the child and his parents. Their age, his age, his school, theirs and his upbringing, the involvement the parents had in his upbringing, the school he studied and so on.Also which class he is studying and why he wants to become a Pilot.
Only parents can understand the unique talents of their children. It is the parents and not the school or teacher or college who should identify and nurture his talents. There is no need to expect the teacher, school or college to nurture his talents, although some of them might help the child.
Instead of trying to make your son an Engineer, you must try to Engineer or ‘build up his life’ by investing your time and thoughts.
What you need is someone to advise you and guide you so as to take your son to a level more than what you expected. For this, you need to do hours of discussion with the advisor. The advice of such a person is priceless.
You cannot expect your child to take up your profession. He might have the genetic influence of his grandparents. Or the environment he grew up might also influence him. Sometimes he is influenced by his caretaker.
From childhood, we must protect them from negative influences, and identify and nurture their talents.
Sachin Tendulkar used to play Tennis and Cricket in his childhood. He was more interested in Tennis. He was not focused on Cricket. It was his brother who discovered his talent in cricket. The who family, including his parent, as a team, helped him in nurturing his talent.
Even if a Child is old enough his decision might not be focused. If his decision to become a pilot is because of fantasy then he is going to ruin his career. He might lose interest after a while and drift from one career to another.
We must Engineer the Child so that he lives a life, not just make a livelihood. He should think beyond his self like Tendulkar. He has to take up a career in a field where he is able to give innovative solution and apt judgement. For engineering the child the family should work together. The school and teachers come only after that.
(Transcription of Manu Stephen’s reply)